Wednesday, November 20, 2013

I Will Try to Fix You.....

Since the moment Ryan was diagnosed I would and still sing this song to him.  I know this is song is more about emotional healing, but it was my simple lullaby to my son.  

"Tears stream down your face"
"When you lose something you cannot replace"
"Tears stream down your face"
"And I...
"Lights will guide you home"
"And ignite your bones"
"And I will try to fix you"
Link to the ColdPlay song.  I cannot listen to it without crying.

I have ventured down many roads and avenues searching for ways to "fix" Ryan.  Many opinions and ideas have been shared to me.  I have tried better blood sugar management, tried many foods that offer a "healing power" - (which by the way my two year old has turned his nose up to every single one). I've listened to sermons, read books, been prayed over, prayed for my son every night, thanked God for his healing and looked at sin in my life. The list goes on and on and on and on...... Are you exhausted yet? Because I am! As I was reading the scripture one day I came upon the story of Elijah and Jezebels prophets.

1 Kings 18:20-38
20 So Ahab sent to all the people of Israel and gathered the prophets together at Mount Carmel. 21 And Elijah came near to all the people and said, "How long will you go limping between two different opinions? If the LORD is God, follow him; but if Baal, then follow him." And the people did not answer him a word. 22 Then Elijah said to the people, "I, even I only, am left a prophet of the LORD, but Baal's prophets are men. 23 Let two bulls be given to us, and let them choose one bull for themselves and cut it in pieces and lay it on the wood, but put no fire to it. And I will prepare the other bull and lay it on the wood and put no fire to it. 24 And you call upon the name of your god, and I will call upon the name of the LORD, and the God who answers by fire, he is God." And all the people answered, "It is well spoken."25 Then Elijah said to the prophets of Baal, "Choose for yourselves one bull and prepare it first, for you are many, and call upon the name of your god, but put no fire to it." 26 And they took the bull that was given them, and they prepared it and called upon the name of Baal from morning until noon, saying, "O Baal, answer us!" But there was no voice, and no one answered. And they limped around the altar that they had made. 27 And at noon Elijah mocked them, saying, "Cry aloud, for he is a god. Either he is musing, or he is relieving himself, or he is on a journey, or perhaps he is asleep and must be awakened." 28 And they cried aloud and cut themselves after their custom with swords and lances, until the blood gushed out upon them. 29 And as midday passed, they raved on until the time of the offering of the oblation, but there was no voice. No one answered; no one paid attention. 30 Then Elijah said to all the people, "Come near to me." And all the people came near to him. And he repaired the altar of the LORD that had been thrown down. 31 Elijah took twelve stones, according to the number of the tribes of the sons of Jacob, to whom the word of the LORD came, saying, "Israel shall be your name," 32 and with the stones he built an altar in the name of the LORD. And he made a trench about the altar, as great as would contain two seahs of seed. 33 And he put the wood in order and cut the bull in pieces and laid it on the wood. And he said, "Fill four jars with water and pour it on the burnt offering and on the wood." 34 And he said, "Do it a second time." And they did it a second time. And he said, "Do it a third time." And they did it a third time. 35 And the water ran around the altar and filled the trench also with water.36 And at the time of the offering of the oblation, Elijah the prophet came near and said, "O LORD, God of Abraham, Isaac, and Israel, let it be known this day that you are God in Israel, and that I am your servant, and that I have done all these things at your word. 37 Answer me, O LORD, answer me, that this people may know that you, O LORD, are God, and that you have turned their hearts back." 38 Then the fire of the LORD fell and consumed the burnt offering and the wood and the stones and the dust, and licked up the water that was in the trench.

The main thing I noticed about this section of scripture was that Elijah had complete confidence in God.  He even allowed the prophets to pick the best bull, take all day and do whatever they needed to get their god to show up.  He even made fun of them and their god.  The prophets cut their skin, danced around, and pleaded for their god to make himself evident.
Elijah knew that his God would display His power. He humbly offered a sacrifice, covered and surrounded the alter with water, and gave a heartfelt prayer. Through all the avenues I've looked down, the roads I've traveled, today I stand on the firm foundation that Christ is showing His power and will continue to show His power to Ry and our family.  I have complete confidence in God and His faithfulness.  All my attempts to "fix' Ryan are worthless attempts to dance before God and beg Him to help us.  He has already shown His power and sent us fire, and His heart burns for Ryan and He will continue to show us how much He loves Ryan.  The absence of Ryan's physical healing does not represent the lack of God's power.  I stand in confidence that His power is evident everyday in our lives.  The mere fact that we still have faith in His love, mercy and faithfulness makes His power very real. 
For more articles on "Food, Faith, and Diabetes" click on links below:
How We found out
The Hospital
Going Home
Well Springs of the Heart
All of Us
Mommy I Pooped!!
If There is Any.....
Sorrow for the Night
I Will Try to Fix You
Kill the Oxen Burn the Plows

1 comment:

  1. What a powerful illustration! So often we think that if we have the right formula God will show up. But He's already shown up...and He will do what He's willed to do in His time and in His way.